Dear Friends,
Right after the coronavirus hit, schools and many workplaces were closed, and it seemed like parents we were supposed to do it all - become teachers, provide for all needs, work from home, become health experts, and be an even better parent than before.
With a little more time, we realize it’s more important to just get through this and manage the best we can. It may be time for us to adjust our expectations. Yes, it can be a great chance to strengthen family bonds, but we can’t always do as much as we think we can or are supposed to as parents. Instead, it may be best to focus on taking care of ourselves, looking out for our children’s emotions, and try to maintain positive family relationships.
Even if we don't get very far with school work and focus more on our relationships with our children, then it will be time well spent. Kids can’t learn if they’re not feeling safe and loved. If there’s strain at home, and it feels very tense and miserable, our children’s brains are not going to take in what they’re learning because they’re stressed and angry. Our relationship with them is the one thing that can help everything fall into place.
If we do lose our cool, we need to let everyone calm down and then apologize. Being honest with our kids and tell them if we are tired, stressed, struggling or overwhelmed. Apologize for bad language and let them know we will work hard to do better. We can even talk about what we can do differently next time.
We need to be a "safe place” for our children. We are the person they seek reassurance from, and they may need us in ways we didn't expect. Be flexible and willing to shift things around and change things up. Think about how you can give each child what they need.
Finally, you can also reduce stress by celebrating successes, no matter how small! As you wind down the day, ask everyone what was the best part of their day. Or make a daily list of what you did well. “Did we all get dressed (or half-dressed anyway)? Did we learn anything? Did we get most of our school work or "work" work done? Did we get outside and play or perhaps go on a family walk? Did we do anything fun? Did we laugh today? Those are all victories!
If you are a parent or caregiver in need of support and are not sure where find help:
Call the Vermont Parents Helpline at 1-800-CHILDREN (1-800-244-5373);
Check out our COVID-19 Resource Guide at www.pcavt.org;
Call 211 for information about a broad variety of resources.
Remember, we will get through this TOGETHER!
Thank you for all you do to keep our communities healthy!
Sincerely,
PCAVT's Family Support Programs Team
Steve Ness, Heather Niquette, Cindy Wells,
Amber Menard, and Cindy Atkins